Its totally 25 Pages, But you should work on 7-10 pages, and 3-4 pages will be sources and cover pages and table of contents.The parts that need to be included in the portfolio are:- A cover page- Table of contents- Paragraph explaining revisions made on Narrative- Narrative with highlighted revisions- Paragraph explaining revisions made on Profile- Profile with highlighted revisions- Paragraph explaining revisions made on Text Analysis- Text Analysis with highlighted revisions- Paragraph explaining revisions made on Stakeholder paper- Stakeholder paper with highlighted revisions- Final Reflective EssayFor the Final Essay The power point should be clear on what to write. But here is additional infoYou should aim to address, at minimum, the following topics: insights about your learning in this course; identify and connect coursework and growth to course learning goals of rhetoric, inquiry, processes, and conventions; identify and explain the choices for what you have included in your portfolio and why you have organized in the manner you have; integrate key terms and concepts from the course beyond the learning goals; what you found most beneficial about the course; what different approaches or assignments might have benefited your learning. It should be 2-3 PagesIts 5 essay I have 4 of them You must edit Them
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A Student
Anna Davis Abel
EN 101-006
4 December 2017
Final Portfolio
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Table of Contents
1. Narrative Paper – page 3
2. Profile Paper – page 7
3. Analysis Paper – page 13
4. Stakeholder Research Paper – page 19
5. Reflective Essay – page 25
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1. Narrative Paper Revisions
The majority of my revisions were adding figurative language to spice up my work and
as well as to add more detail. I reworded a few sentences to make them fit better and get
my point across more clearly. I tried to use more vivid language as well, using words like
bleak to better describe the situation.
The Season’s Slippery Slope
The most personally defining experience I have had with sports is the three years of
hockey I played at the varsity level. Playing varsity hockey for my high school made me a better
athlete, teammate, leader, and person, as well as taught me how to deal with tough situations and
difficult people. I walked away with two important things. I gained much needed confidence in
myself and I know that I made a difference for those involved with the team. I am very grateful
for having played for and with some great people and I look forward to continuing to be a part of
the team.
Our school alone did not have the required thirteen players to make a team, so we had to
join forces with three other schools: Quince Orchard, Northwest and Seneca Valley, to become
the Griffins. The Griffins consisted of players of all levels, from house league players to AAA
all-stars, who had to come together and play as a cohesive team. My first season as a varsity
hockey player was sophomore year. I joined the team as a small defenseman who had only been
playing house league and house select hockey for seven years. This season was all about growth,
for me and for the team. At first I was tentative, playing like someone dipping his toe in frigid
water, afraid to jump in. I did not want to make a mistake and let someone get past me, and as a
result, did not earn a starting position. My position in the line-up did not change at all until
about midway through the season when I finally stopped thinking so much and let my feet, hands
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and instincts take control. I was no standout but I constantly pushed myself, did what was asked
of me, demonstrated good hockey-sense, and started to gain the respect of my coaches and
teammates. Eventually the team captain started requesting me as his defensive partner, and I
became part of what would be a dominating force, the “Michael-Jackson” line. Our record
improved slightly to four wins, three losses, and two ties on the season. Needless to say, there
was definitely room for improvement on that record, and we were determined to finish in a
higher standing the following year.
During Junior year, things really started getting interesting. This would be the golden age
of the Griffins. I was fortunate enough to be awarded the title of Assistant Captain and take on
all of the responsibilities that came with it. This would also be the year where the MichaelJackson line would become legendary. When our line took the ice the opposing team’s faces
went as white as the ice. Between our combined nineteen points and lockdown defense, we were
feared by every team in the league. Despite my skating and shooting skill development, there
was still more growing to do. One of my teammates, Alex, did not agree with his share of the
playing time or the fact that I was chosen to be assistant captain over him. Alex voiced his
opinion to many members of the team, including the coach and my line-mate, but never said
anything about it to me. It caused a tension that hummed like like electricity going through a
power line. Word got around and the situation had to be addressed. At first I tried talking to him
about why he felt that way and explained to him that talking about teammates behind their back
was not going to help us achieve our goal. Turns out he was more of an action guy, so during
practice I had to continuously demonstrate to him that his style of selfish play did not help him or
the team. In one practice, for instance, our coach wanted to see how well some people played
together so he had us scrimmage. It just so happened that Alex and I were on opposing teams so
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whenever he tried to do everything himself I would swoop in and steal the puck. After taking the
puck I would demonstrate good team play by passing to my teammates, often leading to a goal
for my team. After a few practices, he got the point and there were no more problems between us
for the rest of the season. We really pulled together as a team and finished the season with a
record of nine wins, one loss, and two ties. Our team was even invited to play in the USA
Hockey National Championships, where we played against other varsity hockey teams from
around the country.
The success, however, was short lived. In the off-season between my junior and senior
year, Quince Orchard met the requirements for having their own team and were forced by the
league to break off from the Griffins. Unfortunately, my line-mate Jackson went to Quince
Orchard so the divide marked the end of an era, the Michael-Jackson line would be no more.
The following season came with changes to the coaching staff and our roster. Shuffling
of the teams ended with us absorbing another team including their coach and team manager. The
coach also happened to be the commissioner of the league (definitely a conflict of interest) who
really did not know very much about hockey. Worse yet, his philosophy was more suited to a
recreational league team, rather than a varsity high school team. As now head captain, I had to
take charge and keep track of when we were on a power play or a penalty kill, otherwise our
fourth line players would be out there on a penalty kill against the other team’s best players. The
merger only added one top player to our roster, while the divide took away five of our best
players. This season saw our record plummet to four wins and eight losses. While our record was
poor, and I was displeased with the way the team was run, there were some personal victories
that came out of it. I had a career high twelve goals and ten assists, was selected for the
Maryland Student Hockey League (MSHL) All-Star game, and was voted to the Maryland All-
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Conference team. In addition to these accolades, I grew as a person. The situation I was in led
me to take on a greater role in making my team better. I not only had to improve my own skills,
but also the skills of my teammates by pushing them in practices and helping the coaches
develop drills. Being named captain meant that the younger players looked to me for guidance,
and that, to me, was very special. I had the chance to make an impact on a player that will carry
on through their high school hockey career as well as maybe inspire them to do the same when
they are seniors.
The future for the Griffins looks bleak. In the off-season interest meeting, fourteen
Northwest players were in attendance meaning they too must break away and become their own
team. This divide will take one very good upperclassman and several young guns and future stars
away from the Griffins. This upcoming season will be a challenge for the Griffins, to say the
least. However, I am very interested to see how my close friend Logan will handle the pressure. I
expect that he will be taking over my position as captain. He will be challenged in every way
imaginable, even more so than I was last year. He has to deal with poor coaching, lack of skilled
teammates and ultimately the motivation to deal with losing but keep trying his best.
While I was not happy with the way my high school hockey career ended, I walked away
having learned many things about myself and I am grateful for the opportunities I had as well as
the friendships and memories that came from playing. While the near future for the Griffins does
not look good, I hope to join the coaching staff after graduating and pull the team back up from
the dead, restoring the team to its former glory as the top team in the Montgomery Division.
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2. Profile Paper Revisions
My first major area of revision for this paper was adding a scene. Previously I was
lacking this part of the assignment and it showed in my grade. Another big reason my
grade was so low was the absence of an additional source, which I added during the
revision process. This paper also needed to have a lot of grammar mistakes and other
things along those lines fixed.
Coach’s Chronicle
If you grew up playing sports or know people that did, you likely know how important
the coach is, not only to the success of the team, but to the development of each player
individually. It is easy to see how coaches develop their players as athletes by simply noticing
what has changed in their skillset from the previous season, but what about how coaches develop
their players as people?
In order to see what role a coach plays in the development of athletes as people, I wanted
to find out what it was that makes a good coach so great. Thinking back to my first travel team
and the immaturity of the various players, I knew the right person for me to interview was Coach
Ryan Krug. As our head coach he took that group of unfocused kids and by the end of the season
made them into a team of dedicated young men. Coach Ryan is young, maybe 24 or 25, about six
feet tall, and in excellent physical condition. His main job is working as a personal trainer. The
fact that he is still young and could out-skate and out-shoot anyone on the team made him “cool”
to the boys.
I set up an appointment with Coach Ryan to conduct a telephone interview and we spoke
one evening after he finished with a practice. He was in his office at the Laurel Ice Garden. As
we were talking I could picture him leaning back in his chair, wearing his dark blue Bauer warm
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ups, the whiteboard behind his head filled with circles and X’s and arrows denoting skating
plays. Coach Ryan Krug, who was head coach of Team Maryland ‘03, told me the best coach he
ever had was in charge of his U18 team. He told me that he came into that season with a bad
attitude because he ended up on that team rather than the AA team. For a while he did not care
about the team at all. He thought he was too good for that team and did not work very hard in
practice or games. He told me he was not sure that the coach played hockey growing up, maybe
he played football or something. However, what made this coach so great was, “He never gave
up on me. He kept working with me and didn’t let my bad attitude get in the way. Eventually he
got to me and I started caring about that team.” Bill Walsh, head football coach for Stanford
University and former head coach for the San Francisco 49ers, experienced a similar situation,
which he spoke about in an interview that appeared in the Harvard Business Review. He realized
that one of his recruits had a lot of natural talent, but not much experience at the higher
professional level. This player then did not perform well, developed a poor attitude, and lost
motivation. Coach Walsh could have cut him, but decided to help the player by taking “a longer
term, more patient approach. We waited an extra year to allow him to mature and grow into this
level of competition and into the role we wanted him to play.”
Being a good coach is all about your attitude and the way you approach things. In this
case, there were probably other coaches that Coach Krug had that knew more about hockey than
his U18 coach. However, the way his coach went about addressing his attitude problem made
him such a good coach that Krug considers him the best coach he had through his about nine
years of playing hockey where he still had a coach.
Coaches have such great potential to influence young athletes lives simply because of
how much time they spend together. Coach Krug said he has “two hour practices, five times a
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week. It’s so much time spent with them that you really get to be close with them and push them
in the right direction.” When you compare the ten plus hours of time he spends with his players
per week to the less than five hours per week that they see a teacher or anybody else, it is easy to
see how someone like Coach Krug would be able to play such a big role in guiding these young
athletes. He comments about the most difficult part about all this time spent with his team when
he says, “I am trying to create personal relationships with all the players, but I still have to be the
bad guy every now and then.” At the end of the day he is still the coach. If his relationship with
his team is solely about being friends, then he will lose control of his team. Finding a good
balance is key here. If he is too much of a friend, his team will not take him seriously. On the flip
side, if he is always strict and serious, the players will only do what he says because they feel
they have to, not because they want to so they can get better.
He demonstrated this as coach of our travel team. One player was having an extremely
hard time fitting in. He would not consistently show up for practice, or he would come late. He
would not pay attention in the drills. He was constantly instigating problems among his
teammates. Coach Ryan made his expectations very clear at the beginning of the season.
Coming late to practice meant sitting one period in a game. Missing practice without an
acceptable reason meant being benched for a game. Coach worked individually with this player
and gave him multiple chances. Finally he had him removed from the team as this player was
bringing down the morale of the entire team.
Ken Carter, former head coach for the Richmond High School Oilers, also made his
expectations clear. He had developed his team as athletes, they had a winning record of 13-0, but
he also wanted to develop them as people. He checked grades every two weeks, placing his
emphasis on education, as he knew that would serve his players well all their lives. When his
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players’ grades were falling he postponed games. His philosophy was “if I have these young men
come back five or six years from now, and they’re productive citizens, and they’re good dads
and good role models in the community, I think I’ve done my job.” Coach Ryan also checked
grades, and if the GPA was not acceptable then they player was not allowed to practice or play in
games until his grades improved. His players also were required to perform a service for the
community as a team. In my year, it was a coat drive to benefit the National Children’s Center.
Sometimes just the presence of the right person can make all the difference for a team.
When asked for his most memorable experience as a coach, he said it was when he first got
behind the bench. This was his first time even meeting with his new team. Coach Krug stated
that he was with “a horrendously bad team,” and they were playing the nationally ranked
Ashburn Xtreme who had beaten them by double digits earlier in the season. Coach Krug gave
his first ever pregame speech and walked out with his new team all fired up and ready to take it
to Ashburn. He said, “They responded really well to my speech and played very well. They
didn’t come out victorious, but they only lost by one goal.” He added that he was “very proud of
how well they played and enjoyed watching them play above what they thought was possible for
them.” In this case the removal of a poor coach and the introduction of the right coach came with
instant results.
Now that I know about how coaches impact their players lives and what makes a good
coach so great, what does the coach walk away from all of this with? Coach Krug says coaching
has taught him to have “confidence and conviction when making a decision because you can’t
second guess yourself in front of a team.” Second guessing yourself or being unsure when
making a decision will lead to a lack of trust in you as the coach. If you are not certain that the
decision you are making is correct, your team will not buy into it and they will come out on the
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losing end. He also said that the most rewarding part about coaching is “the personal
relationships I develop with my players, especially the ones who stay in touch.” New
relationships with players and gaining a new skill yourself are only two of the many benefits
being a coach has.
Bill Walsh echoed many of these same sentiments in an interview conducted by Richard
Rapaport for the Harvard Business Review. Coach Walsh used an approach that balanced being
the sole voice in charge of the team with motivating the players to buy into his strategy. Much
like Coach Ryan, who wants his players to want to develop and improve, he “thinks of it as the
coach’s ability to condition the athlete’s minds and to train them to think as a unit, while at the
same time, making sure each athlete approaches his own game with total concentration, intensity
and skill.” Coach Walsh also realized that there were times when you have to show the rest of
the team who is boss. Coach Walsh had a player on the team who had a drug problem. Coach
had to show the rest of the team that this type of behavior was not acceptable. He had to remove
the player as he “did want to show the team that I was still in control and that drug abuse would
not be tolerated.” Coach Walsh also realizes that the team is only as strong as its weakest
players. It is easy to work with the really skilled players, “but the difference between winning
and losing is the bottom 25% of your people. Most coaches can deliver the top 75%. But the last
25% only blossoms in the details, in the orchestration of skills, in the way you prepare.”
Some of the major contributors to why coaches play such a big role in an athlete’s life are
the amount of time spent together, the relationship they form through all of this time spent
together and the goals coaches help their players reach.
Work Cited
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CNN, Cable News Network, Accessed 26
Nov 2017.
Krug, Ryan. Personal interview. 19 Sept. 2017.
Rapaport, Richard. “To Build a Winning Team: An Interview with Head Coach Bill Walsh.”
Harvard Business Review, 1 Aug. 2014, Accessed 26 Nov 2017.
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3. Analysis Paper Revisions
The biggest addition I made to this paper was describing the commercial in better detail.
Originally I only described part of it which did not give enough context to explain some
of my points. I also made sure to point out exactly who the target audience was and if
they would even know who Andrew Luck is. I made sure to include why I was part of the
target audience and how it failed to appeal to me. Finally, I added a better concluding
paragraph to summarize the effectiveness of the campaign as a whole and how it could be
NFL Play 60 Ad
The success of the NFL Play 60 initiative is owed to three things: where it takes place,
how much it costs, and the promotion of the program. The place is anywhere. The program has
both in school and after school activities as well as an online component, allowing anyone
enrolled in a participating school or with internet access to participate in the program. The price
is zero. Free access to the program means anyone can participate, not just those who can afford
to spend money on something like an exercise program for their child. Lastly is the promotion.
The commercials feature NFL stars like Cam Newton, Andrew Luck and an endorsement from
former President Barack Obama. The NFL Play 60 ad uses both Ethos, Pathos, and Logos to
encourage children to be active in any way they can for at least sixty minutes everyday.
The ad opens up with Andrew Lu …
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